Just an insight of a day in the life of a divorced single mother...struggling to keep herself sane while trying to raise her daughter to become a strong independent woman.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Big Girl Bed

Earlier this week ...we also got Denisse her big girl bed. It was a long time coming. She had overgrown her toddler bed and she had been sharing a bed with me for about 3 weeks. But I didn't want her getting used to it so ...as much as it hurt my wallet I went bed and bedding shopping.

We got the nice and firm mattress (twin) and then we took her to pick her new bedding. Of course she chose Tinker Bell.

And so her bed arrived on Tuesday ...and she was as happy as she could be...


and then she laid in it and I realized that she had gone from a cradle...to a crib ..to a toddler bed ..to her own big girl bed...in a wink of an eye...


So there she is ...my big girl..

That night for the first time ever ..in her life she fell off the bed...LOL ..yes she did..kinda weird cuz her toddler bed was so tiny but I guess she was used to it , and also that night I woke up at 0200, don't know why but it was a good thing otherwise I wouldn't have realized that she had fallen, so it all worked out...but after that first night she didn't fall, nor did she climb out of bed and come into mine.

So again she is starting to grow up and need me less and less ...which is normal and something that I had been prepared for...but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt...:(

Chelitta




First Haircut

So ...Denisse was born with a full head of hair..I mean ...full ...she had way too much and though its a myth I believe that my heartburn while prego was caused by this...anyway ..I had decided early on that I would not cut her hair until at least a year...

Well her first B-day came and went and I still didn't feel like she needed one..and so each birthday came and went and I still didn't want to cut it. In fact towards the end...we (her father and I) had decided not to do it until she asked for one...and the day finally came when she said she wanted to cut her hair..and as much as it hurt ...and I tried to put it off..I finally took her...I decided to do it on the Saturday before she starts Kindergarten.

She was awake way too early all excited ...as you can see in the picture


and so we headed off at around 0845 because the place opened at 0900 and of course me thinking that it was the Saturday before school started it would be full I wanted to be one of the first people there ...and so we got there at 0855 and still sat in the car for a few minutes and finally we went in ...greeted by a nice named Kim.

So..she sat in the chair and she wet her hair...


and she went so fast that I missed the first snip..:( ...but then she gave me the pony tail and I put it in a bag...and she continued to trim...


she didn't like the blow dryer much ...but she survived


and the final result was adorable ...


and so ..that was a brief re-cap of this bitter sweet moment in our life. My daughter will start kindergarten on Monday ...and after this ...there are not many firsts left. I am glad I waited until now...we enjoyed one of her firsts together...and she will remember this day...it will be an actual memory for her..not something that she saw in pictures, on a cheesy certificate in an album ...but hopefully she will look back and say ..I remember the first time I cut my hair...

Chelitta





Saturday, June 25, 2011

Preschool Graduation 2011

(Very Proud with Mom and Dad)

4 years and seven months ago ...to the day ...I gave birth to Denisse :) . She was the tiniest thing I had ever had in my arms. So fragile and needy I honestly didn't  know what to do with her. I had never taken care of a new born...but I knew that this little person was my my responsibility for the rest of my life.




So, the time past and fast and 4 years 7 months later...I was sitting at her first major accomplishment ceremony: Preschool. As I watch the other little kids perform and get up and get their little diplomas, mine was just standing still and didn't even get up to get her diploma. Which although my mom accused me of traumatizing my kid, I was proud...in my own little way ...it was like I knew that she wasn't the same as everyone else. She stood out, not because she was loud, not because she was the goofiest...but because she didn't do what she "had" to.  Yeah, I know she will have to do and follow the rules when its necessary, and she does, but when it comes to having a choice she doesn't take the one everyone else does, she doesn't follow the crowd, and I like that. It may be that she has anxiety and that it may be difficult for her, but academically I could not ask for anything more, shes reading, shes writing adding and subtracting at 1st grade level, in fact I was asked if I wanted her to be evaluated to see if she skipped kindergarten and started the 1st grade...I said NO ...I want my child to grow into herself, maybe later ...for now ...I am just happy that she went through the first hurdle.

Denisse & Ashlyn

With Ms Tracy

With Ms Nirmala

With "the principal"

With Grandpa and Grandma :)


After the ceremony we took the pictures with the teachers and with her best friend Ashlyn, and then we went to Chuck E. Cheeses...where I quickly remembered why I loved my father so much :). He played the video games with her and taught her and had the patience...and we laughed and enjoyed ourselves. Her dad was there, of course and we were like to old friends talking and just enjoying our daughters accomplishment.

Watching Grandpa play

Soaking it in

My turn :)

I can do this!!!


My daughter is growing up too quickly ....and I plan to enjoy her I may never have these experiences again. On Friday June 24th 2011 it wasn't just Denisse Graduating..it was also me ...I have done well for the first 5 years of my daughter life..I feel I have and I have been told I have...I graduated from being a mother to a "baby" and passed on to being a mother to a big kid...so after a little rest and a little fun..we have started her journey through life...hopefully she will think I am a good companion...

chelitta

Monday, June 13, 2011

Being Civil

I've been sick lately. More than usual. I must have gotten some weird case of allergies cuz Ive just been congested and body aches but no fever, no cough ...sneezes out the wazu and watery eyes...

Been like that since Friday evening. I woke up Saturday and I don't even know how I made it through  the day. Any way the thing is ...Denisse' dad ..has been very supportive through this, he usually is...he knows when I'm sick its for real, hes been there for me .when I had Denisse, and before that when I got food poisoning and not to mention through my migraines...its times likes these that remind me of why I stuck with him for a long time, I mean I don't love him, but I have great respect and like it or not we will always have Denisse to bring us together.

He has cooked for 3 days straight...and even though I am not a fan of what he has cooked, I know that that's all he can do and he is doing it because he is rising to the plate when he needs to. I don't care ..if all we it is scrambled eggs and beans, as long as my daughter has food on her plate. So we have been civil and he has even stayed over since Friday, on the couch of course ...but I hear him ...come in our room and check on Denisse...

I appreciate all that he has done and I have let him know it...this is just one way of showing how much we love our daughter...we can fight and hate each other ...most of the time..but when push comes to shove ..we know when to be civil...

chelitta

Friday, June 10, 2011

Our First B-day Party "Alone"

Last Saturday, Denisse was invited to her best friends brothers birthday party. Her friends name is Ashlyn and they are stuck to the hip in school, both little girls don't talk are very shy and they just get along just fine.


This is them on Saturday.

We've been to birthday parties before, just never the two of us. Not that her dad didn't want to go, I just wanted her to get used to us doing things seperately. Was I wrong? I mean the reality is her father and I are no longer together...and once he gets settled to his "alone" life, the time together will decrease, as expected, and well like it or not there will be times when he cant be there. I know, it was just a brithday party, but again, it was the first time it wasn't 3.

She asked why her daddy wasn't coming, we just said he had to stay home and take care of Oso. It was ok for her...but for me ...it was  like I was taking away that experience from him and her. I know him and I don't really get along, but that's between us not her.

I felt guilty...I mean the birthday party went fine, Denisse enjoyed it, as did I ...and when we got home she spent 1/2 hour telling daddy what she did, and showing him the pictures, it was ok...it was a small step, I just hope the stuff he does miss out...is always because we both decided it was ok, and not because he slowly stopped caring about the small things...only time will tell I guess...in the mean time...

one day at a time...

chelitta

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Introduction

Ok well first things first...lets introduce ourselves....

The one on the left making the silly face is my 4 1/2 year old Denisse :) ....the one on the right is ...me, my age is not important ...but if youre curious ...im 32 ...almost...:)

We have been "single" for ..hmm ...lets just say a very long time.

Her father is very much involved in her life...which I have nothing against, sometimes though I wish he would just disappear..I know that would not be beneficial to our daughter.

Denisse was born in Virginia..but we moved to California a little after her 1st birthday ...so she pretty much will be a Cali Girl...lol ...no plans to move back to VA any time soon. ..she at the date of this post is about to graduate Pre-school :) ...I cant believe how fast time goes by...She will start Kindergaten this year...in August..

As for me, for those that don't keep up with my other blog, I am 100% Salvadoran...moved to Cali ..a  little after my 1st birthday...so I too am pretty much a Cali Girl ...teehee...I'm a nurse ..work and at a high end SNF...don't like it much but it pays my bills and some of the people make it worth it...

Well thats a bried re-cap of our present lives ...hopefully I will have enough inspiration to keep up with this....

chelitta

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Welcome

Hello there and welcome to this alternate blog!!
...It will be a type of diary of my every day struggles in this new stage in our lives...

We have both come a long way from a little over a year and a half when it all started...hope you guys join us ...in our up, downs and in between...this will be just about Denisse and I...and well want it or not her father is and will be a part of our lives so, every now and then he probably be the main reason of a post or two...

Hope you enjoy this ride with us...